A client project went sideways last month at a firm I work with. The deadline was blown and the client was furious. So the founder did what most of us do. He got everyone in a room to get to the bottom of it.

You can guess how it went. “I was waiting on the brief.” “I flagged the timeline weeks ago.” The responsibility moved around the table like a hot potato, and each person set it down a little closer to someone else.

Then one person said, “That one’s on me. I saw it slipping and I said nothing.”

Nobody gave her that. She picked it up.

The Phrase That Gives You Away

The thing I hear from founders more than almost anything is some version of “I just need to hold them more accountable.”

I get why. It sounds like the responsible thing to say. But sit with the words for a second. You’re trying to hold something that only works when they hold it. Accountability isn’t a tool you wield over someone. It’s a thing a person chooses to carry.

There’s a line I heard recently that nails it. Blame is given, not owned. Accountability is owned, not given.

Why “Holding Them Accountable” Doesn’t Work

You can set a deadline and a consequence. What you can’t do is reach inside someone and make them care whether it’s met.

When people say they’re going to hold someone accountable, most of the time they mean they’ll catch them out afterward and make sure the fault lands where it belongs. That isn’t accountability. It’s blame wearing a smarter jacket, and blame makes people defensive, not responsible. So nothing changes, and next quarter you promise yourself you’ll hold them accountable harder.

What You Can Do Instead

You can’t hand someone accountability. But you can build the conditions where they reach for it.

People own what feels like theirs. If someone’s role is fuzzy, or they’ve watched you swoop in and redo their work the moment it wobbles, they have no reason to pick anything up. Give people something that’s unmistakably theirs, then leave enough room that they have to own it. Ownership grows in the space you stop filling.

It Starts With the Most Senior Person in the Room

Here’s the part nobody wants. The fastest way to teach a team to pass blame around is to do it yourself.

If you point at the market or the last hire every time something misses, your people learn the game quickly. Blame is given here. So they give it.

The leaders who get real accountability are the ones who model it when it costs them something. The missed number you open with “that call was mine.” The client you lost because you overpromised. Watch what happens in the room the next time something breaks and the person who caused it is you. That moment teaches more than any framework you could roll out.

You cannot make anyone accountable. You can make it theirs, and you can go first. The rest is up to them, and the ones who reach for it are the ones worth building around.

Sel Watts

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